There is no ‘one’. Or there is more than one ‘one’.
Those are all things clients have said to us. We’ve said them to ourselves too at different times but that didn’t stop us from getting out there dating. The best advice we can give to anyone thinking of jumping in to the online dating world is simply just to get on with it.
Now is the time. I’m writing this as lockdown in Victoria is about to end; with hairdressers back at work and cafes opening up, why not celebrate with a new online dating profile? Life is about to return to some sort of normal. There’s a bounce in the air. Appropriate for Spring.
Think about the process of online dating, not whether to do it or not. The reality of modern life is that most of the old avenues to meet people are closed now, or harder to navigate. It would be a brave employer now who didn’t have a carefully worded employee relations policy. The parliamentary ‘bonk ban’ introduced in 2020 received support from both sides of the aisle.
But this is where many of us used to meet: In the workplace. With that once-fertile ground drying up, the online world really is where you need to be. But will you meet ‘the one’?
Many of our clients are dating second, or third time around from a long-term relationship. Starting again hurts: the pain can take years to unpack. Dating again can be invigorating, even euphoric. Hey – someone else finds me attractive. But what should you expect next?
I wrote in another blog post about my year of 60 dates – a serious business of course, but towards the end I found a way to relax a bit and slip into a groove where I enjoyed the process of meeting new women, rather than the expectation of success. At that point I was expecting, or looking for less, yet still yearning for…
The warmth of companionship, or the look of love. That easy place, where you count time in footsteps or the sound of waves. Relaxing into that was when things started looking up for me, perversely.
The old Shaker folk-hymn, written in a time when there were few leisure options, speaks of contentment and gratitude:
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be
And when we find ourselves in the place just right…
It’s a dancing song. In nineteenth century America, there can’t have been too much to do to relax. Live music and dancing were the entertainment. With the many distractions of modern life now all seemingly instantly available, even during lonely lockdowns, I wonder if we’re asking too much from this dating life?
Put your dating profile up and enjoy the process. It’s fun! Naturally we hope you will consider getting in contact with us to help you along. If not then remember that the images you select really are crucial to your chances; consider having someone who knows a bit about photography to take them for you. They really make all the difference.
Tom Manning – October 2021
Image by Meruyert Gonullu from Pexels
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